The latest slam against Jennifer Aniston was just too much. The Headline reads: BRADLEY COOPER DENIES ROMANCE WITH JENNIFER ANISTON. Sub Heading: “Despite media reports–and mom’s wishes–the HANGOVER star says it just isn’t so.” HE denied it. BRADLEY COOPER. Not HER. Not Jennifer Aniston. Unreal.
OK. So it wasn’t enough that the guy, this guy, Bradley Cooper, who is NO Brad Pitt…heck..He’s no Vince Vaughn…(Like many girls, I like VV better than Brad Pitt. Oh, whatever, they’re both cute, and both left Jennifer.) OK, guys, if someone says that you are going out with Jennifer Aniston, just say yes and shut up. Don’t embarrass her, and yourself with denials. But, everyone is thinking it. Everyone is thinking that there is something wrong with Jennifer. Something dreadful. I don’t know what it is. She might smell bad. Like deeply bad. Like expired.
Someone has got to say this. WOMEN: DO NOT GO OUT WITH GUYS OR GIRLS WHO ARE NOT INTO YOU. HELL! JA even played the title roll in “HE’S JUST NOT INTO YOU” Seeing her in that roll was just super sad. She looked cute and tired and completely natural being shat upon by Ben Affeck, who surprisingly, according to her personal history on the internet, has not banged her in real life.
Here is Jennifer Aniston’s history, according to Wikipedia:
Aniston dated her Ferris Bueller costar Charlie Schlatter in 1990. She began a relationship with Daniel MacDonald in 1991. They broke up in 1994 shortly before she was cast in Friends. She briefly dated musician Adam Duritz in 1995. (OH MY GOSH SHE DATED ADAM DURITZ!!!!!) From 1995 to 1998, she was romantically involved with actor Tate Donovan and the couple were reportedly engaged. (WHO IS TATE DONOVAN? PROBABLY THE GUY SHE SHOULD HAVE MARRIED THAT’S WHO)(I have no idea.) In 1998, she began dating actor Brad Pitt and married him on July 29, 2000, in a lavish Malibu wedding. For years their marriage was considered the rare Hollywood success. However, the couple announced their separation on January 6, 2005. Pitt became involved with actress Angelina Jolie, though Pitt has denied cheating on Aniston with her. Pitt and Aniston were seen together publicly after announcing their separation, even at a dinner party for Aniston’s birthday, and friends of the couple had declared they were reconciling. Aniston, however, filed for divorce on March 25, 2005. It was finalized on October 2, 2005. Media reports speculated that the split was due to Aniston’s refusal to have children with him. Aniston denied that this was the cause of their split in an August, 2005 Vanity Fair interview, stating, “…I’ve always wanted to have children, and I would never again give up that experience for a career.” Aniston revealed that her divorce prompted her to reach out to her mother, Nancy, from whom she was estranged for nearly a decade. They initially became estranged when Nancy talked about her daughter on a television show and later wrote a book entitled, From Mother and Daughter to Friends: A Memoir (1999) Aniston has also stated she was devastated by the death of her longtime therapist, whose work helped make her separation from Pitt easier. Aniston said her relationship with Pitt, which she does not regret, was “seven very intense years together” and that “it was a beautiful, complicated relationship.” Following her divorce, Aniston began a relationship with actor Vince Vaughn, with whom she costarred in The Break Up. Relationship troubles were reported in September 2006, followed by a confirmed split in December of that year. She briefly dated male model Paul Sculfor for a few months in 2007. In April 2008, she began dating singer John Mayer. The couple had broken up after a seven-month courtship in August, but resumed the relationship in October, before splitting again in March 2009. (JOHN MAYER NEVER LIKED HER. IF YOU LOOK AT PICTURES OF THEM TOGETHER, HE’S ALWAYS TRYING TO GET AWAY. EVEN WHEN THEY’RE MAKING OUT.)
I guess the reason I had to blog about this is because I was listening to the great, beautiful and wise Marilyn McCoo today, and her song “If I Could Reach You.” (It just came on my ITunes, one of my husbands sentimental picks, oh yeah, he’s like the husband in “Moonstruck” listening to “..that damn Vicki Carr record over and over.”) (Only, when he gets to bed, that’s where he and Vincent Donofrio go their separate ways…) Then I go to the beauty shop and read the latest People Magazine, and see BRADLEY’S denials about Jennifer. It was just too much.
Get these words: “Oh no, don’t go It’s hours till dawn..And there’s no one who’d rather be with you…I know you know other girls like me…I let you take my love…Knowing you don’t love me…But if I could reach you some way…If i knew the magic it would take…To love you good enough on the outside…And make you feel it on the inside…Maybe I could make you stay…If I could reach you…The dark is getting light…And you’re dressed to go…And never said a word about tomorrow…But if I could reach you some way…If I knew the magic it would take…To love…you good enough on the outside…And make you feel it on the inside…Maybe I could make you stay…THIS SONG IS RIDICULOUS. But it is the ANTHEM for sooo many women. SO MANY. A word to the wise. You will NEVER make him stay. NEVER. If he doesn’t want to right away, and you know it…YOU KNOW WHO WANTS YOU AND WHO DOESN’T RIGHT AWAY…You will never turn him into your partner for life just by wishing, or by sleeping with him, or by marrying him for seven years. YOU KNOW. When I owned my dating service this was my pet peeve. Well, my pet peeve on the women’s side. My pet peeve on the men’s side was cocky guys wanting the same women everyone else wants, and, even when she’s obviously out of his league, trying anyway. Cocky guys are so stupid when it comes to young beautiful women. It doesn’t matter what their age or looks. If a cocky guy wants a woman, he will try it. And get SHUT DOWN. And then call her names. So, my gentle readers, especially you, my beautiful women, it is all in the in-between. Choose from the pack of men who LIKE you. That should be your first pre-requisite. That they honestly want you. Don’t say you can’t tell. You KNOW. And men, well, just look into the mirror. If you don’t look like someone you could see on her arm, you’d better have a Swiss Bank account and a debit card with her name on it.